About a month ago I asked the universe to make me softer.
I suppose with that comes more openness, more empathy, and more awareness of the world around us. I woke up from a weird, yet seemingly insignificant dream, to find my significant other struggling with her frequent stomach issues and my mind unable to relax enough to go back to sleep. I held her until she fell asleep, and then I wept. (Let me remind you it’s 3 a.m., weird shit often happens around this time for a lot of us. Some call it “the witching hour.” I am no stranger to the potential restlessness it can sometimes bring.) I laid in my bed thinking of the people I want to connect with tomorrow and check on – did they need anything? How are they and their family holding up mentally? I drummed up ideas on ways my 6 year old could connect with her friends and bring them joy – a handmade card, picking out something from Amazon to have shipped to them, a bracelet made with love?! We could drop them off tomorrow on a walk. So many ideas. My heart aches as my brain makes a list of things potentially most useful to soldiers on base who are about to lose access to their base store as they prepare for deployment amid a global pandemic. What is enough to give?
I am just so deeply grateful for the health of my family and to be financial okay, right now. Some of us aren’t that lucky. Let me repeat, some of us, aren’t that lucky. We are in this together. I think about some of the things we’ve done to support our community and friends inspired only by the acts and thoughtfulness of others. We’ve bought t-shirts to support small businesses, sent and received little pick-me-up gifts in the mail, bought take-out from our favorite restaurants, picked up needed things from the grocery story for our neighbors, checked in and been checked on. And yet, it doesn’t feel like enough, but it has to be, and it is. They were just little things, here and there, but it felt good to create more light and do good during such a fearful time. It felt good to connect with others in a way that could potentially help lighten their load, too.
My hope is that this 3 a.m. rambling inspires someone else to look around and see where they can be helpful. My prayer is that we all feel some peace of mind in moving forward.
With Grace & Gratitude…